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Alien Radio [MultiFormat]
eBook by Mike Resnick & Nick DiChario
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$0.49 |
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50% |
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50% |
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eBook Category: Science Fiction
eBook Description:  As the leader of the friendly alien visitors offers the five basic truths of human existence to the people of Earth via radio, he takes a few calls and tries to keep his fellow aliens from meddling with the local cosmetics and weapons industries.
eBook Publisher: Fictionwise.com, Published: The Ultimate Dragon, ed. Byron Preiss, John Betancourt and Keith R. A. DeCandido, 1995
Fictionwise Release Date: November 2003
Available eBook Formats [MultiFormat - What's this?]: Adobe Acrobat (PDF) [59 KB], eReader (PDB) [25 KB], Palm Doc (PDB) [11 KB], Rocket/REB1100 (RB) [11 KB], Microsoft Reader (LIT) [63 KB] - PocketPC 1.0+ Compatible, Franklin eBookMan (FUB) [83 KB], hiebook (KML) [59 KB], Sony Reader (LRF) [37 KB], iSilo (PDB) [10 KB], Mobipocket (PRC) [12 KB], Kindle Compatible (MOBI) [40 KB], OEBFF Format (IMP) [21 KB]
Words: 3301
Reading time: 9-13 min.
Microsoft Reader (LIT) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud ENABLED
Adobe Acrobat (PDF) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud DISABLED
All Other formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED
 
Must I use this headphone unit? It appears my skull is ill-shaped for such a device. I can just speak into this? Very good. What does that mean? That red light? Oh, are we on? I can go ahead and speak, then? Excellent.
Hello, people of Earth, and good evening. As many of you already know, I have come to your world for the express purpose of studying your race, so that I may offer you the five basic truths of your existence. But before I begin, I have been asked to deliver this commercial message for a new product called Heaven Scent. Heaven Scent is a liquid chemical bleach used in conjunction with your laundry soaps to whiten whites and brighten colors, and it can be purchased at your local supermarkets, where you will find an introductory rebate offer. The manufacturer claims that the bleach will cause cleaner, fresher-smelling fabrics, and will not be injurious to your garments. They will come out thirty-seven times brighter than the sun, and of course I couldn't say this on the public airwaves if it were not the literal truth. Heaven Scent is the answer to the housewives' and househusbands' prayers. Whoopie. End of commercial message, the funds of which have been donated to the Home for Terminally Morose Phlezms of Indeterminate Gender.
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