Nothing much ever happened in Ed's life--nothing out of the ordinary that is--so he was quite surprised when the djinn appeared out of a half-opened bottle of California sun-dried tomatoes. After all, he'd only just said to himself "I wish I had a fairy godmother or something", and out she came. It was unnerving.
Nevertheless, he'd done a fair amount of reading over the years, as well as having seen Aladdin three times (two of them first-run), so he was prepared. And just a little bit afraid.
But at first glance, his djinn was nothing to brag about. Oh, the puff of smoke was impressive enough, curling upwards toward the ceiling until it reached a towering six feet in height. It grew progressively wider after that, rounding off at four feet in diameter. Ed stared as it slowly coalesced into coherent shape.
"Low ceilings ... barbaric!" snuffled the djinn, wiping its nose on a large floral handkerchief that appeared out of nowhere. "Always gives me the sniffles, this century." It looked around in annoyance, while a small trail of mucus travelled from its nose to its rubbery upper lip.
"Allergies. We've all got 'em. Eons of interbreeding, y'know. Can't stand small spaces, myself." The djinn stared at the door, then sighed. "Don't suppose you'd let me out for a walk before you make your wishes? I could use some air."
Ed, meanwhile, was dumbfounded. From his reading, he'd expected something fearsome. Something that would strike terror into his heart, and awe into his soul. Something that would make him revise the atheism he'd adopted in college.
Instead there was a squat, blubbery ... thing standing in his kitchen, waistline rolling over its jeweled belt, rolls of fat bunching around the formidable hips. It wore pince-nez glasses and carried a purse. A light blue dirndl shirt with embroidered neck and elbow-length sleeves allowed folds of skin to escape under the elastic. A tweed skirt completed the ensemble, ending just above the knees. Ed found himself goggling at the djinn's legs, wondering how it had managed to stuff feet that size into such small shoes. Then again, the shoes were almost obliterated by the mass of watery fat cascading over them from the ankles. It looked to be somewhere between sixty and a hundred years old, and female.
He felt faint.
The djinn noticed his expression and roared with laughter. Apparently this had happened before.
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