CHAPTER 1

Texas, 1880

Belle Marshall forced the grief to the deepest part of her heart. Doc had lived a full life. He'd been an old man. His health had been failing for years. He had had a right to pass on. To have continued living with the pain he suffered…Well, she wouldn't wish that on her worst enemy…if she had one. Why wish it for a man she admired beyond words? Still, losing him, no matter how much she'd known it was coming, hurt more than she could bear.

She dared a look around. It seemed the whole town was gathered at the graveyard today, except for the Tanner bunch. The cowhands were off with the herd, headed north to Dodge months ago. Her sister and the rest of the Tanners had left for a visit to Virginia last month. They'd be gone until the end of this month. Belle had missed them before they'd been gone a day, but now she ached for their company. She felt lost without them, even in this crowd.

Her gaze wandered from person to person. Everyone had fulfilled one of Doc's last wishes–no one wore black. He'd wanted bright happy colors and he'd got them. Belle had chosen her pink gingham dress with white lace at the hem, neck, and cuffs. Doc had always said it made her look as bright and pretty as one of Mrs. Freebush's roses. Everyone else looked plenty colorful, too.

Mr. Cyrus's vest matched the canary yellow in his wife's dress. Mrs. Cyrus fingered the dark green ribbon around her wide waist. Florine Brady had chosen purple satin shot with cream panels. Her husband's string tie was cut from the same cloth. Very nice. Bright. Happy. Doc would have been pleased.

The only exception was Paul Harrington. The preacher was limited in his wardrobe. But he honored Doc's wishes the best way he could–with three daisies threaded through his lapel.

She shifted her gaze back to the Cyruses. Seeing the old couple lean on each other in their grief wrenched Belle's heart. She knew what they were thinking–We're next. That's what Mrs. Cyrus had said over Doc's body the night before. Rather than think her selfish, Belle understood the fear and had wrapped an arm around her. It had helped to ease her own fears at the time. But in the warmth of this beautiful summer day, watching the Cyruses support each other, their light blue eyes misty with unshed tears, Belle's agony doubled.

A breeze rustled the leaves in the cottonwoods edging the perimeter of the graveyard. Belle closed her eyes and turned her face into it, shutting out everything but the sound of Paul Harrington's voice. Not too deep, not high pitched, just perfect. She could listen to him talk for hours and never grow tired of hearing him. He caught a person's attention from the first word and held it, which was good for a preacher. Not too many people fell asleep during his sermons.

Belle wondered if it was because he was a young preacher. Most of the ones she'd known in the past were old, definitely set in their ways. They'd tote their bibles around, quoting gospel in that holier-than-thou manner, and set themselves above their parishioners. Not Paul. He was…well, normal.

He'd make a good father. Belle's eyes flashed open. Where in the world had that come from? Not that she hadn't thought it before. But here? When she was burying her mentor? Doc would have gotten a big chuckle out of that. In fact, he'd have laughed so hard he'd have set off a coughing spell.

Not one to mince words, Doc had never hesitated to point out Belle's interest in the young reverend. She'd be lying if she said that wasn't so. Thank goodness Doc kept his opinions to himself. Seeing that know-it-all look in his old eyes every time Paul came around was bad enough–worse, because each time Doc would say, "That fella's sure sweet on you."

Belle didn't know if that was so or not. Mothers in town certainly noticed his availability. They took every opportunity to parade their daughters in front of him and offer their help at church. But it was Belle he turned to when it came time to organize social events and committees. Yet, in the two years they'd known each other, Paul never so much as hinted their relationship was more than friendship. And he certainly never spoke for her.

It was just as well. Belle had no place in her life for a husband, especially a preacher. They expected traditional wives, and Belle wanted more out of life than that. Not that she didn't want a husband and children one day, but she wanted a man who understood she had needs beyond the boundaries of marriage. As far as she knew, there wasn't a man like that who existed for her–certainly not Paul Harrington. He was about as traditional as a person could get.

She let the sound of his voice drift into her soul while she marveled at the way the sunlight made the gold in his light blond hair sparkle. She'd seen him with his shirtsleeves rolled up, his shoulder muscles flexed against the wood while he leant a hand at a barn raising. He certainly wasn't afraid of hard work. His skin was a light bronze from hours in the sun. What woman wouldn't be interested?

But Doc had opened a world to her that Belle could have only imagined before. She might not be a doctor in the true sense of the word, but everyone knew she'd been Doc's eyes, ears, and hands these last two years. Belle doubted anyone would call her on it now. She was all the town had. A husband would take her away from them.

Maybe that's why no mothers trotted their sons before her. Not that Belle would have noticed. She was always too focused on her work. And she found Paul, too much of a distraction as it was. Or maybe Doc wasn't as quiet about his notions as she'd hoped.

Belle's gaze drifted Paul's way. He cradled his bible with those marvelously long fingers–fingers that could dry a child's tears with a tenderness that tugged at Belle's heart. She'd seen those fingers at work and knew they were callused. But they could right a bow in a little girl's hair with as much skill as they wielded a hammer. And all Belle could wonder was how they'd feel brushed against her cheek.

Paul closed the bible, drew in a breath, and looked right at her. His green eyes mesmerized her, held her in place. They were the color of life itself. She couldn't have moved if a stampede of longhorns were headed her way.

"Belle?" he said.

"Yes?" The word came out in a choked whisper. He wanted something of her.

He glanced toward the grave. Belle's gaze followed. Of course. She was the closest thing Doc had to a relative. By that right alone, she was to toss the first handful of dirt on his coffin.

Heat rose to her cheeks. She was ashamed of herself, letting her mind wander in sinful pursuit while they were burying a good man.

She imagined Doc's hearty laughter over that, his teasing afterward when they were alone. Tears flooded her eyes. She wouldn't cry here. Please, not here. She simply couldn't deal with the sympathy of others right now. She had to hold herself together. God, how she was going to miss the old man.

Clenching her jaw against the grief, Belle squatted down and blindly grabbed a fistful of dark brown earth. Stepping carefully to the edge of the grave, she opened her palm and let the dirt drift from her grasp. It fell to the coffin below like a gentle rain, so much easier to deal with than hearing the clods plunk down harshly.

When the last was gone, Belle stared at her palm. She'd forgotten to take off her gloves. A dark brown stain blotched the ivory. It would take a lot of scrubbing to get it out. Maybe she'd leave it as a reminder of this day–not that she needed any.

Someone else stepped forward. The smack of dirt on the coffin jerked Belle from her daydream. She couldn't watch this, but she couldn't walk away either. She had an obligation to fulfill.

Another person edged forward–Florine, a businesswoman in her own right. She owned one of the best bars in town and did a good job of keeping her girls in line. Belle supposed she had to–Florine was married to Sheriff Bill Brady. Their professions made them an unlikely couple, but they looked like they belonged together–both tall, auburn-haired, slender, with a businesslike approach to life that rarely wavered. No one dared call him Bill or Billy. It was Sheriff or Brady. And God help the soul who used the name Flo. Florine would cut them dead with a glare.

Copyright © 2006 by Catherine Snodgrass.